It still blows my mind that I am a born-again Christian. If you knew me before, I’m sure you relate with that. If you think you’re weirded out by this change, imagine how I must feel! Truthfully, it is something shocking to think that even though I denounced and dismissed God (and anyone who believes in God) for so many years, He chose me anyway. I don’t fully comprehend all the things He weaved together to bring me to a moment of true repentance, where I finally comprehended the significance of words I had heard a thousand times, came to an end of insisting I was in control, and chose to believe something I’d spent most of my life denying. But, somehow He did. In an instant I knew in my heart that Jesus Christ had lived, said impossible things, did impossible things, willfully sacrificed Himself to erase a debt I owed, and then rose from the dead to prove that the payment was accepted. Crazy story right? When people ask, “Has anyone shared the Gospel with you?” this is it. The good news of a gift freely given and an opportunity to choose whether to dismiss it, or to accept it. This time I turned away from myself, toward a God who loves me, and I accepted. Doing that broke me. I started to sob uncontrollably. That word “uncontrollably” is for real, and it means I could not stop. It was kind of terrifying. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I look back now and understand it as a reaction to having the lies I’d centered my life around suddenly and drastically eroded. That moment everything changed. Every moment since has been different. In the moment that broke me, I admitted something that let Jesus in, and by letting him in He began the long work of changing me and building me back up. I admitted my actual helplessness. I admitted my own darkness. I admitted that there was a deep need for forgiveness in my life. That without forgiveness my life was lost, and that His forgiveness wasn’t something I could earn. It was something I had to accept.

Maybe you’re like me, you don’t want it. Maybe you’re like me, someday you will. I don’t know. But, that born-again moment for me was the beginning of having the word of God opened up. I had read parts of The Bible before, but just to poke holes in it. Now I wanted to read it, and when I did it met me where I was at and started to make sense.

The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.

1 Corinthians 2:14

Since then, I’ve read a lot of The Bible. But this year, I am following a chronological plan of God’s story. I’m not going to post a lengthy post like this everyday, don’t worry. But, when a passage catches me, I will post it with a brief explanation of what it reveals to me about the character of God. If you’re here for it, my hope is that together we’ll understand God more fully – His purposes, His ways, His Mercy, and His love – by seeking what He has to say about these things Himself.